So, this marks the third day of actually being "good." Can't believe I consider this a milestone. The old Ana me would have shot myself for getting this fat. But hey, live and let live (more so diet and let live).
Hints for any of you struggling Anas, get your tongue pierced. Not only do you not want to eat, you literally can't. Even my salad, perfectly fat free and Ana-legal salad, was almost unbearable to eat. Today was actually the first day I've eaten anything. Like, ANYTHING. Even the old me would have a glass of milk and a few grapes. I'm proud of myself. Even my bloat is gone. I've missed the feeling of being hungry.
I think I'm on this for good now. Might even go vegan again. Vegetarianism is nice, but hold too many loopholes. Come on, chocolate is vegetarian.
And I found my (dare I say) rosary. I may not consider Pro Ana a religion, but I certainly try to live my it's rules as much as any Christian tries to live by the ten commandments. Is it odd that I even find myself asking Ana for help? Oh well, I'm an atheist, I could use some religion in my life.
I'm well on my way to being what I was. 120. I remember when I thought that was "fat." Of course I still think that's fat, but where I am now, is much much FATTER.
Just think Haven dear, continue on this path and you'll be perfect. You know you're already pretty, but jeez, Queen Latifa is pretty but that doesn't make her any less fat. Time to be gorgeous.
Stay strong and starve on loves. You know food isn't worth it. A second of joy leads to days of depression and self loathing...
